


Gentle Scent of Lilac at Wartime

by Boossuet, Cherikella



Category: Cherik - Fandom, MorMor - Fandom, Sherlock (TV), World War 2 - Fandom, X-Men (Movies), severich - Fandom
Genre: Beauty - Freeform, Blood, Cherik - Freeform, Death, Depression, Devotion, Drama Drama Drama, Drugs, Fighting, Lilacs, Love, Loyalty, M/M, Madness, Protectiveness, Romance, Sacrifice, Sadness, Suicide, Tragedy, WW2, War, War sucks, World War 2, mormor, severich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:51:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boossuet/pseuds/Boossuet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherikella/pseuds/Cherikella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lilac is a history<br/>A lilac is bliss<br/>A lilac is the memory<br/>Of a tender, loving kiss</p><p>World War 2. One of the darkest periods in history. Six men find love at the most unexpected place of all in the most unexpected time of all. The story of three couples trying to protect the remains of what's beautiful and wonderful in a world of war, death and sorrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gentle Scent of Lilac at Wartime

A lilac is a history  
A lilac is bliss  
A lilac is the memory  
Of a tender, loving kiss

Richie was breathing in and out frantically. His heart was racing, his hair was messy, he was covered in dirt and hated every minute of this.

  
"I want to go home!" he cried to Severin, his buddy in arms "I don't like war! I want to defeat those terrible Nazis but not here! Not with guns! I want to defeat them with brains! I want to go home!"

  
"Shh, Richie." Severin stroked the smaller man's hair. "I don't like this either, but if we're really careful we'll make it home soon. I promise!"

  
"I just wanna go home..." he whispered [half-weeping](https://38.media.tumblr.com/dc16daf85d0030ce0065c748b9a33fba/tumblr_nnhaycWXu01sgrr3ko4_500.gif)

  
Severin nodded, holding Richard tightly

  
"Am I a coward, Rin?" he asked, lifting wet brown eyes up, gazing at him

  
"No!" Severin exclaimed, ducking as shrapnel came flying past.

  
Richard almost had a panic attack. "Are you hurt!?"

  
He shook his head. "I'm fine, and in the hands of the finest medic there is!" he said reassuringly since Richard was the medic of the group. "Hey, take a deep breath, bunny." Sev looked around to see if anyone was looking before giving Richard a quick kiss

  
Richard returned it, smiling into the kiss. "We could get killed if someone saw this..." he coed but it sounded so sweet and endearing

  
"We may get killed anyways, Richie"

It was 1944 and the war was already taking more victims than any war in history. The soldiers were tired, the commanders were tired... Seemed like the only one not tired of the millions of deaths was Hitler. But not for long! Soon, very soon... They'll get the bastard! Either victory or death! 

"I want to die in your arms... is this a sin?" Richie whispered 

"No, its love" was the answer

Rich almost started crying. "It's love!" he smiled

  
Severin fell on top of Richard to protect him from debris. Richard looked at him for a moment and spoke again.

  
"Can't we just run away and go hide somewhere?"

  
"We're supposed to be shooting Nazis" Sev replied "And you're the Medic so you're kinda needed here"

  
"Fair enough..." Richie nodded " But isn't that one Nazi we got enough? Let others shoot them!"

  
"Richie, we have to do what we said we'd do"

  
He sighed "You're right. It's the honourable thing to do..."

  
"Plus it'll stop the war sooner"

  
"Yes! Let's kill the Germans!" he suddenly jumped with a riffle to shoot at the advancing enemy. It was a silly attack and hardly an attack at all.

  
Sev pulled him back down. "Don't be stupid about it!"

  
"I want to destroy them all so we go back home!" he said, desperate

  
"You'll get killed!" Sev protested, gently stroking his brother in arms' cheek.

  
"Chances are I won't make it out of this war alive anyway..." Richie sighed

  
"Don't say that! As long as we're careful and lucky, we will!"

  
"Careful and lucky... Not what my brother would say... He'd say strategy and logic!" he nodded thoughtfully

* * *

Meanwhile in the tent of the brigadier general all kinds of maps and marks were spread on a little table in the middle.

Jim Moriarty, the brigadier general of the group,  was walking around the tent, looking at the maps. 

"Strategy and logic! That's what they need to use! Not those... Ugh! Why can't people just think, Moran!?" he exclaimed

  
"Because they have guns in their hands and just want to shoot some krauts ?" [Colonel Moran](https://38.media.tumblr.com/77fa926881c979118c1790565a2fad5b/tumblr_nnhb35YfiY1sgrr3ko10_250.gif) offered his explanation at once. 

  
"Yeah, those poor boys over there die like rats while the generals rest in London and Washington! It's all bl%dy and useless, Colonel."

  
"I agree, sir"

  
Jim fixed his piercing brown eyes on the Colonel for a moment but then quickly looked away "You're a clever man, Moran." he said

  
Sebastian felt a blush spreading across his cheeks. "T-thank you, sir"

  
"You're wasted in the army." Moriarty shook his head with a sigh.

  
"What do you mean?" the Colonel asked confused 

  
"Your abilities could be used elsewhere" Brigadier Moriarty said thoughtfully

  
"I'd rather be here with you, brigadier." the blonde man replied 

  
"Oh? Of course... I'm a good influence for you." Jim chuckled "Being older I also provide some good experience and knowledge too." 

  
Sebastian nodded. God, he loved this man, even though he knew it was wrong. 

  
Jim noticed an unusual look on Colonel Moran's face, a look that appeared pretty often on his face lately "You alright, Colonel?" he asked

  
Sebastian snapped out of his thoughts. "Yes, yes, everything is fine"

  
"Good. Try to concentrate. What are you thinking about anyway? Some maiden you left back home?" Jim chuckled "That's what people here usually daydream about"

  
"I never had a maiden" the Colonel shook his head

  
"Oh. So just like me. Unattached to another human being. Good. I like you even more, Colonel"

  
"Unattached, of course" [he swallowed](https://33.media.tumblr.com/5bc31365296d6e034e57b30b67b9ede6/tumblr_nnhb35YfiY1sgrr3ko8_250.gif) 

  
"Yes, good. Attachments only get in the way" 

  
"I know..."

  
"Finally! Someone to agree with me! " the brigadier got overly excited

  
Sebastian couldn't take it. He strode over, lifted Jim off his feet, kissed him and strode out of the tent.

  
Jim was left there confused and flustered.

* * *

As Sebastian strode out of the tent, he passed by the [Nazi prisoner](https://33.media.tumblr.com/4ef2be91f94dcf8e5c9965f9b4916dc2/tumblr_nnhb35YfiY1sgrr3ko6_250.gif) they had captured. The young soldiers had killed all the others but Brigadier Moriarty left instructions about an Erik Lehnsherr so when they found him Colonel Moran ordered that he'd only be kept a prisoner and not murdered under any circumstances. Not a single hair of the German soldier's hair was to be harmed, according to the orders. No one knew why, no one could even suspect of what use would a Nazi swine be to their group, but orders were orders. So now Erik Lehnsherr was tied up; he was a prisoner, a Nazi, an enemy, and young Lieutenant Charles Xavier was left to guard him.

Lieutenant Charles Xavier, a young bright thing with sparkling blue eyes, noble soul, unpolluted mind and a heart full of hope. Out of all people,  _[this](https://38.media.tumblr.com/109fc9ace1c310279f2cc94fc2737574/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko1_500.gif)_ was his guard. 

  
"You won't even look at me. Do I repulse you so?" Lehnsherr asked

  
That was the exact opposite of what Charles thought, but he wasn't going to tell this damn Nazi that. "I am repulsed by you"

  
"Why? What's so different about you and me? Don't we both fight for our cause? Don't we both hope? Don't we both suffer and bleed?"

Darn it, he had a way with words! But Charles'd be damned if he let that and the [prisoner's ](https://31.media.tumblr.com/000d73d48e69cc43ca0c5598ab11436e/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko3_r1_500.gif)good looks cloud his better judgement. 

  
"You kill innocent people for a terrible man" Charles replied 

  
"Do I now?" Lehnsherr's gaze was challenging, daring and earnest

Charles looked away. "You speak good English for a German"

Changing the subject was the best idea ever! The lieutenant did not even question why was he even talking to his prisoner in the first place.

"I spent a lot of time in England during my childhood." the Nazi swine replied with his melodic voice "That's why they took me in the army. I knew the enemy. I was useful."

Charles looked disgusted.

"You're too young to understand anything." Lehnsherr said, shaking his head "No wonder they gave you the boring job"

"I'm 27!" he protested

"Still, they gave you the boring job so they must think of you as the annoying kid"

Was the swine chuckling at him!? Was he teasing him!? 

"They do not!" [Charles ](https://33.media.tumblr.com/df0eefb5a7fbd8cf683cfb953050716b/tumblr_nnhb35YfiY1sgrr3ko7_250.gif)protested

"Whatever floats your boat, kid" Erik shrugged

Charles huffed.

"You're cute" Erik said "Can I smoke in here?"

"Cute!?" Charles whirled around, cheeks red.

"Did someone light you on fire, kid? You're all red." the Nazi prisoner chuckled

"I- You- No its not- ugh!" He sputtered, flustered.

"Right." the prisoner let out a small laugh "Now let me smoke, cutie"

"Stop calling me cute. It's wrong"

"Why would it be wrong that you're cute?"

"Because we're both men!"

"So you say as a man I cannot appreciate the cuteness of another man?" the Nazi asked

It was all so direct, Charles was even more confused now. 

"Yes!"

"I thought you were supposed to be more progressive"

Charles ignored Erik.

"So is that a no about the smoking?"

Charles handed Erik a cigarette.

"Will you light it for me?" Erik asked, eyes piercing through Charles "My hands are a little tied up" 

Charles glared back and lit it, feeling like Erik could see straight into his heart. As he was breathing in to light the cigarette, Erik suddenly grabbed Charles by the wrists "You're making a huge mistake. You need to let me go! I have to be free!" he groaned

Charles tried to pull away from him. "Let me go!"

Erik was painfully stronger than him and determined to not let go. "Release me!" the prisoner demanded 

"I was given orders not to!" Charles winced at Erik's grip on his wrists

Erik realized the young man wasn't going to let him go yet but more likely would call others and he'd only get himself beaten up. So he reluctantly released the lieutenant's wrists. "Alright..."

Suddenly there was the sound of an artillery gun and a building near them exploded. Charles squeaked and pulled Erik into a foxhole with him.

"You smell good, solider, for someone who lives like a rat" Erik whispered, letting Charles guide him and not even flinching at the sound of the explosion.

Charles shot Erik a glare. "Like you're any better"

"I never said I was. You're the one that smells like [lilac ](http://blog.northerngardener.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/declaration-lilac.jpg)even on the battle field"

Charles sniffed his arm. "I don't smell like lilac..." He ducked as more shells flew overhead.

Erik observed the shells fall on the dirty ground as he chuckled "You sure do smell like lilac"

"Do you have different lilacs in Germany?" the British lieutenant asked 

"I don't remember. But you definitely smell like home"

There was such simplicity and sincerity in those words. Charles blushed slightly.

Erik suddenly jumped on him and rolled them both over before a giant piece of shell dropped on the ground where they were lying just a second ago.

"T-thank you! You've saved my life" Xavier muttered 

"Believe me, my pleasure" Lehnsherr said still lying on top of him

"You can move now" Charles reminded him

"Must I?" Erik asked, mischief in his sparkling eyes

"I thought you Nazis hated gays...?"

"I thought you, Englishmen, hated stereotypes." Lehnsherr replied, still not moving from his previous position on top of Charles. 

Charles bit his lip.

"Your face is exquisite..." Erik whispered, his eyes sliding to Charles' lips

"I'm not that gay"

"I am though..." he said softly "Indulge a solder who's been to war for far too long"

"We've all been to war for far too long"

Erik forced himself to come back to his senses. "Maybe I could cut the war short if you let me go" he insisted 

"What?"

"Set me free. Let me run away" Erik pleaded once again, his voice hoarse. 

"I can't! You're the enemy!" Charles shook his head. 

"Do I feel like an enemy?"

Lehnsherr's eyes were gazing at him, warm and soft. His body was still on top of him, making it warm and for the first time in a long time Charles did not feel so alone here, on the battle field. 

"Well, no..." the lieutenant replied, avoiding Erik's persistent gaze. 

"Let me go..." he said and leaned in closer, almost pressing his lips to Charles' but still keeping a very small distance between them.

Charles leaned into him, trying to get their lips to connect. "You'll kill me..."

"Wrong... I'll kiss you..." he whispered as he met him half the distance and kissed him passionately.

Charles pulled away. "But this is wrong! You're the enemy!"

"Shhh"

"You've probably killed my sister's fiance!" he continued his resistance in vain. 

"Don't think! Don't talk!" Erik said, as he trailed his kisses all over Charles' face and neck.

"Please stop!" Charles tried to shove him away

"... you don't like that?"

"I do, but I cannot do this..."

Erik let out a long sigh "Pity..."

"If anyone saw us, I'd get dishonorable discharge or even killed!" Charles explained

"Who cares, when we're all mad here, in the dirt, surrounded by rotting corpses and death!?" Erik replied passionately

"I don't want to die..."

"By God, I don't want you to die either, lilac!" Erik kept trailing soft kisses down the Lieutenant's neck, pleased with his response to each of them. 

"Either way there's death though..." Charles uttered 

Erik looked deeply into the young man's eyes, he was so close that Charles could feel Erik's breath on his face and Erik's heart on his chest. Then Erik moved off and Charles' body felt cold where Erik used to keep it warm, hot even. 

"Wait!" he gasped 

Erik looked at him, the sparkle in his eyes gone.

"Please don't go! I have no one else anymore and I'm terrified" the lieutenant confessed. 

"I'm the enemy. Better alone than trusting the wrong people" Lehnsherr said bitterly

"I don't care!"

Erik quickly pulled him in a kiss and positioned them so no one could see them. 

"Thank you..."

Erik smiled "Sweet"

"Duck!"

He did so and another shrapnell failed to hit him.

"Thank you, liebling..." Erik whispered

"Liebling?"

"Sorry... habit..."

"What does that mean?" Charles whispered

"Umm, it's an expression..." Erik suddenly felt embarrassing to admit that it meant "darling, sweetheart"

"In German?"

He nodded. "I know you hate Germany... but if you ignore what's happening now... it's not that bad..."

"I know you aren't all bad"

"So many fellow soldiers... dead... following orders... fighting... against the orders... unknown, nameless heroes and no one would ever even as much as thank them... dead..." he said bitterly

Charles nodded solemnly. "Erik?"

He quickly returned to reality "Umm, yes?"

"Why did Colonel Moran give me specific orders to keep you alive?" Charles finally asked the question all soldiers were wondering about but no one dared asking. 

Erik thought for a moment, then [chuckled ](https://33.media.tumblr.com/e8b50182ad30153232f21a294b138c2b/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko4_r1_250.gif)"Well, I guess you just have to ask Colonel Moran about that" he said

"Okay..." Charles frowned. 

"But if he wants me alive, you better keep me alive." Lehnsherr shrugged, then forced a laugh "And here I am, thinking you being so protective of me was because you fancied me..."

"It partly is..." the young man murmured 

"So you admit you fancy me?" Lehnsherr grinned 

Charles nodded

"Are we doomed, [lilac soldier](https://38.media.tumblr.com/96216ac65f92da3220c1f996898d3f36/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko2_250.gif)?" Erik asked with a bitter-sweet smile

"I believe every one here is doomed, but for the moment we're safe"

"So full of hope... How I wish I could save you from the bitter disappointments of this world..." Erik sighed "Okay, take me back to my spot now.

Charles nodded and lead him back there, acting like he wasn't in love.

* * *

"Medic!" The cry snapped Severin and Richard back to reality.

"I'm needed..." Richie said, ready to go

"Stay safe, bunny" Sev gave him a quick kiss

Richie kissed back and rushed to the direction of the caller.

[Colonel Moran](https://33.media.tumblr.com/33d47fe773820b5c6963d81c5d1fa16f/tumblr_nnhaycWXu01sgrr3ko10_250.gif) met Richard half way out of the tent of the Brigadier. 

"He's got it again!" he waved his hands about worriedly. "He was like this when I came to him... " 

"I know how to handle this!" Richard said, getting inside the tent. 

The brigadier was his brother. Richie was well familiar with the fits Jim had at a time of stress. At first he loses all sense of reality, starts acting insanely, at times even violently. In one of those fits the then 10 year-old Jim snapped the cat's neck then laughed hysterically over the poor animal's dead body until he burst into uncontrollable tears. That followed by him starting to shake viciously, his whole body trembling, eyes turning white, face pale until he loses consciousness. Yes, Richie was well aware of his brother's fits. Doesn't mean he was comfortable with seeing his brother like that though. 

"Must've been a big one!" the medic said as he examined Moriarty, who was now lying unconscious in his tent.

"I don't know... I wasn't here..." Sebastian said, feeling guilty. Why, the deuce, did he leave Jim's side after that kiss!?

"Well, something really stressful for him must've happened to get him this excited" he said.

[Sebastian watched](https://38.media.tumblr.com/2646383f86acd1d4a1455fd7e9195e7d/tumblr_nnhb35YfiY1sgrr3ko1_250.gif) as Richard took care of Jim, gave him medicine, even got him to open his eyes and say a few weak words. 

"You must rest, Jim" Richie told him

Jim tried to lift himself up a bit and whispered something to Richard. Sebastian could not quite catch it but he was too happy that Jim was alright and awake again to even think about anything else. 

Richard nodded. "Now rest." he said and glanced at Sebastian.

The two left the tent, letting Jim rest for a while.

"He worries too much." Moran finally said.

"You should look after him." Richie replied 

"Of course!" the words sound more eager and tender than what he had planned them to be. 

Richard smiles a bit. 

"He'll be fine." Richie repeated again

"How do you know that?" Moran asked

"We... we kind of grew up together..." Richard blushed "I know he's stronger than you think" 

"That's neat." Moran forced a smile

"Not really... wasn't that much fun" No! No childhood memories, Richard! Not now!

"My brother is in this company too" the handsome Colonel changed the topic, noticing the expression of the medic's face.

"Oh? I suspect I may know him..." Richard blushed a little which caused Moran to chuckle 

"You and Sev do seem to be close friends." Sebastian offered Richard a cigarette. Richie politely declined "I don't smoke, thank you" he said with a smile "Yes, we rather are..." another blush

Seb lit his cigarette before replying. "You blush a lot, don't you, medic?"

Darn it! He needed to control that! "Maybe it's the stress... or the weather..." he trailed off

"Or my brother" Sebastian winked

Richie gasped and blushed even more "What are you saying!?"

"It's been two years since any of us have had a woman, medic. We're bound to start sleeping with each other"

This remark made Richie blush even deeper red. He mumbled something that not even he himself could understand

"Sorry, what?"

"Umm..." Richard was looking for an excuse to leave and when he couldn't find one he just gave up "I believe I have to go!"

"Hey, you aren't the only one" Sebastian stopped him

"Hmm?" Moran noticed doubt in the pair of soft brown eyes that were looking at him right now, reminding him so much of Jim's brown eyes, only less forceful.

"I like your brother" The Colonel said.

Richie was a calm and sweet soul but this was too much. "Are you mocking me?"

"I'm not. I'm in love with Jim" he repeated 

It was time Jim's twin brother and only family knew about it too. 

It took some time for Richard to take the information in.

"For real?" he finally asked

"For very real" was the blonde man's reply

"Is he in love too!? " Richard asked. The thought seemed foreign and strange to him. 

"I don't know" Sebastian muttered

" Oh... I'm sorry..."

Awkward... 

Sebastian shrugged, trying not to show feelings. "Is Sev treating you good?" he changed the subject

"He's wonderful!" Richie couldn't help the general glow on his face as he was talking about his Severin

"Good. Tell me if he hurts you"

Richard smiled softly. "He's not the kind that hurts" he said 

"Good" Moran nodded

"Do you want me to say a few good things about you to Jim?" Richie offered

"If you wouldn't mind..."

"Sure! I'd love to!"

"Thank you!"

"Oh, and please... don't say a word about Severin and me..."

"Wouldn't dream of it"

"Thank you! Because it's... you know... " the medic could not bring himself to say it but the colonel did it for him

"It's Illegal?" 

Richie nodded

"I know it is."

"But I love him!" Richard blurted out "And he loves me! And we're not doing anything wrong!"

"I understand, Richard" Sebastian smiled soothingly

"I really really love your brother very much!" he kept repeating. There was a kind of warm pleasant feeling he felt in his chest and stomach every time these words left his lips. He loves Severin! And saying this out loud was sublime! 

"He loves you too, Richie." Sebastian replied "I can see the way he looks at you"

"Really?" Richard grinned, not able to hide his happiness

"Really. Now go back to him." Seb patted Richard on the shoulder "I'll stay and watch over Jim."

Richard grinned happy and rushed back to his Sev as fast as he could.

* * *

 

 Sev looked up as soon as Richard came back.

"Who's injured?" he asked 

"It's a war so everybody?" Richard said smiling "It was my brother this time, but he's going to be alright."

"What happened then?"

Richard only grinned and pressed his lips on Severin's. 

"What's this for?" he asked after they broke the kiss, grinning as well.

"I met your brother" Richie said, blushing a bit

"Was he nice to ya?" Sev offered Richard a piece of bread. Richie was so hungry but couldn't eat.

"He was very nice"

"Good. I'd haveta kick his ass if he wasn't" [Sev chuckled](https://38.media.tumblr.com/6703caf92429c4315530f1556a505cac/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko7_r1_500.gif), lighting his cigarette Richie grinned

"Don't. He's a dear. I can see the family resemblance." he giggled a little

Severin laughed. "We aren't 'dears'"

"Maybe to other people you're not but to me you are!"

Severin smiled and ruffled Richie's hair

"Stop it" the medic giggled, pulling away "It's all wrong, you know. Making me laugh during a war"

"Hey, we need every happy moment we can get"

"Do you think we're gonna die, Sev?" Rich asked, getting a bit more serious

"Who knows?" Severin shrugged his shoulders 

"You're not with me only because you think we're gonna die anyway, are you?" he finally voiced what had been bothering him for a while now

"Of course not!" Sev exclaimed

"I just thought you were, sorry." Richard muttered 

"Hey, we've survived this long, bunny. I think we're good now" he wrapped an arm around him

"At this rate, I've no idea when this terrible war is going to end. We may not live to see the end"

"It can't be much longer. The krauts have to give up soon"

"Damn Hitler!" Richie growled. "I wish I was in Berlin to shoot him!" 

"Yet they won't let us go to Berlin and take him out!"

"What if the two of us do it though?" he asked quietly

"There's only two of us, Richie. And they'll be 200,000 krauts in Berlin!"

"And yet it takes only one bullet to finish Hitler off!"

"We'd never get close to him"

"We could try! We could stop the war!"

"No!"

"But lion..." a soft protest

"I can't risk losing you!" Severin cut him off and Richard could read all his feelings in these beautiful eyes. 

"I thought if we were heroes they'd make us legal..." Richie uttered quietly

Sev felt his heart break.

"Oh, Richie" he said, kissing his forehead "Nothing would make us legal" 

"If we're war heroes who saved the world, they'd have to make us legal!"

"They're too set in their ways for that" Sev sighed

The two snuggled close to one another, comforting each other.

"You look so tired, Bunny" Sev started stroking his hair gently 

"I am..." he closed his eyes, relaxing under his touch "I'm so very tired..."

"Sleep. We're safe for now"

"No, I'm--" he yawned "... I'm not sleepy..."

"You are, bunny" he said "So you must sleep, and dream, and smile... And when this war is over, we'll be home again, we'll eat those ice creams you so love every day! I'll take you to the lake and you should finally be brave enough to let me teach you to swim. I'll hold you each night and whisper to you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. And no one, no one would dare say a word to us! We'll be free and happy and together. We'll have each other and it's going to be right because _it is_  right. I'll be yours and you'll be mine... forever... Would you like that, bunny?" no reply "Bunny?" 

He looked down and saw Richard had already drifted, sleeping peacefully in his embrace. Severin smiled at how cute his boyfriend was, still holding him and stroking his hair.

* * *

Charles had messed up and he knew it. That damn German man had ruined everything! He stormed into Brigadier Moriarty's tent.

"Why can't I kill him?" He demanded

"Don't forget your manners, Lieutenant!" Moriarty barked back

Charles stopped and spoke a little softer. "Sir, why can't I kill the German?"

"Because you received direct orders from your superior." was the stern reply

"But we've killed the others!"

"Are you trying to tell me that my orders are wrong?"

Charles clinched his jaw. 

"He's annoying and tries to seduce me, Brigadier!" [he finally said, embarrassed](https://33.media.tumblr.com/c5413e35fc23ad70ea26b579e29636e2/tumblr_nnhaycWXu01sgrr3ko9_250.gif) 

"That is hardly _my_ problem, boy. Just keep him alive. We may need him... And... don't watch him too strictly, okay?" the Brigadier said, strange tones in his voice "Don't stay over his head all the time, don't watch him constantly. Give him some space..."

"But he'll escape if I don't!" Charles protested

Jim only chuckled "Smart boy" he said "Do as I say"

"I demand to know about him!"

Jim pierced his eyes at him, glaring like a hawk.

"You demand!?" the man repeated, eyes on fire "You DEMAND!?"

Charles jumped backwards, seeing that he used the wrong word there.

"Out of my sight at once!" Moriarty hissed

The boy nodded and practically ran out of the tent and past Colonel Moran.

"What was that all about?" Sebastian asked, putting out his cigarette

"He's being a fool!" [Jim explained calmly](https://33.media.tumblr.com/243a2776d4b2adf5c19ab919c055325e/tumblr_nnhaycWXu01sgrr3ko7_500.gif)

"He looked as white as a ghost. Ya need to stop scaring lieutenants"

"They need to know their places"

Moran chuckled. 

"You take it over the top. He had a right to know about Lehnsherr, y'know"

"What was I supposed to tell him, Moran?" Moriarty snapped "That Lehnsherr is a double agent? That Lehnsherr is our inside man? That it was a bl%dy mistake that they've captured him in the first place? And that I did all I could to save his ass so that the idiot runs away and continues his work for the Allies!? Is that what I was supposed to tell that simpleton? Why don't I hand him over all the state secrets then, while I'm at it!?"

"Sorry, sorry. I just think he's trustworthy"

"No one is" Jim said, calming down again.

Moran was used to his unexpected shouting and then sudden calmness. It did not bother him. 

"He wouldn't betray Lehnsherr" Sebastian said

"What makes you say that, Colonel?" Moriarty raised an eyebrow.

"Have you ever seen those two together? Lehnsherr calls Xavier 'Lilac' when they think no one is around and Xavier calls him a shark, but in a loving way"

Jim rolled his eyes.

"Ugh... That's the last thing I wanted to know. Disgusting!" he frowned "So that explains why Lehnsherr hasn't escaped yet. He doesn't want to leave his pet!"

"Why is their love disgusting!?" Moran asked, trying to keep the emotions in his heart to himself.

"Don't tell me you're a romantic now?" Moriarty uttered mockingly 

"I kissed you, didn't I?" 

Another eye roll.

"Pfft! That means nothing" Jim said

"So I can do it again?" He raised an eyebrow as a challenge

"We're at war, Moran. And with no ladies around your urges go wild, I get it. But why are you fixed upon taking that out on me, I have no idea" he shrugged, not really answering the question

Sebastian suddenly grabbed Jim around the waist, pulling the smaller man flush against him. "I've never been into ladies" he whispered

Jim felt his knees go all wobbly, his voice hitched. All he could do was let out a little sound that resembled a lot a moan

"And I don't think you have either" Sebastian said, the same challenge in his eyes

"Don't say such-- things..." he said, but his voice gave him away

"I'm just speaking truth, brigadier."

"Move away a bit... please..." Moriarty whispered

He was actually begging. 

"Permission to disobey orders, sir." Moran winked before leaning in to give Jim a kiss

Jim held his breath, looking all helpless and incredibly turned on when Sebastian finally stepped back.

Moriarty looked disappointed now. "What-- what happened?" he asked, trying to steady his racing heart

"I've kissed you again" the Colonel replied casually.

"Why did you sto--" he bit his lip and his face became more stern again "You've been an insolent fool again, Colonel! I don't tolerate that!" he said harshly

"Then punish me" Sebastian winked

Jim's mind went to many forbidden places as his face blushed the deepest shade of red. "How dare you!?" he gritted through his teeth.

"You're adorable flustered, brigadier"

"I'm not flustered, I'm mad at you! I'm so mad at you! I hate your stupid smirk and what you do with it!" he blurted out

"Because I'm hot?"

Oh, the smugness of this man! Jim clinched his wrist and before he knew it, it was flying in the direction of the Colonel's pretty grinning jaw. This was one of Brigadier Moriarty's best punches. 

"Ah! Hurts!" Jim cried out and looked down at his bleeding hand "Is this blood yours or mine?" he asked examining it with curiosity, forgetting about the pain.

Sebastian winced. "I think both"

"Are you alright?" Jim asked, looking at him

"Are  _you_ alright?" Sebastian returned the question

Moriarty nodded "I broke my wrist in your nose but it was worth it!" he said

"Is it really broken!?" Sebastian asked, genuinely concerned. 

"F*ck you!" 

"I'll get your brother!"

Don't you dare run away from this again!"

"You're hurt!"

"As if you care"

"I do care!"

"Oh yeah?" Moriarty cried bitterly "I can tell! Because you care you reduce me to a play thing for you to distract yourself with when there's nothing better to do around this dump!"

Sebastian shook his head. "That's not what I'm doing!"

"Right!" a mocking laughter

"It's not!" Seb insisted

"Just leave again!" Jim waved his good hand dismissively "That's what you usually do after you kiss me unconscious!"

"I won't" Sebastian said, a sense of determination in his voice

"Well, I don't want to see you right now." Jim turned his back to him

There was something not quite right with this picture, Moran thought.

"Are you okay?" the colonel asked

"Yes?" Jim said, his voice cracking a bit "Now go"

"I'm making your brother come look at your wrist"

"I don't want him here!"

"Why not?"

"I want to be alone"

"Ok..."

Jim said nothing more, he was just standing there with his back turned to Moran

"Bye..." Sebastian uttered quietly

"Mhm" was all he got as a reply before he left.

Jim let out a sigh that no one could hear.

* * *

"Something bothering you, Lilac?" Erik asked the moment Charles approached

"Go away!" Charles snapped. "And don't call me that stupid name!"

"Aww, something is bothering you then, Lilac"

"Don't f*cking call me that!" He shouted

"I'll stop calling you lilac when you stop smelling like one" Lehnsherr said, not one bit bothered by his shouting

Charles growled, trying to storm away from Erik

Erik chuckled "Cutie. You're not trying to run away from me again, are you?"

"You're a d!ck!" Charles announced.

"Look at you getting all personal!" another chuckle

Charles frowned when Erik pulled him towards him. It was one of those horrible feelings that you know you must hate but instead you find strangely pleasant. 

"You don't really mean all those harsh words, lilac" Erik grinned his ridiculous grin, a reminder for Charles that he's still his shark.

"So what if I don't?" he spat

"It's good. It means you care about me." Erik smiled, gently running his fingers through Charles' hair and looking at it as if it were a work of art

"I don't... I really really don't..." Charles purred, his voice almost as soft as his knees.

Erik wrapped his strong arms around the lieutenant to support him. 

"You hate me?" he asked gently

"Yes..." Charles replied, his voice a trembling whisper 

"You hate me right now?" Erik asked again, brushing his cheek to Charles' 

Charles nodded. "I hate you so very much" was his reply, words contradicting the loving way in which they were spoken 

"Hate me more then!" Erik's hoarse voice whispered in Charles' ear. "Don't ever stop hating me like  _this_ " 

Charles closed his eyes, surrendering to this indescribable feeling. The way Erik made him feel. The way he never felt before. The way he wanted to feel for the rest of his life.

* * *

Severin Moran was a brave man. Sevrin Moran was not afraid to stand in front of a gun and laugh in the face of death. Severin Moran was a man who would volunteer for all the dangerous missions, all the scary stuff that other soldiers preferred to shun. Severin Moran had only one competition and that was his brother - equally brave or as Jim would say, equally bored and insane to be this brave. 

So it is to our great amusement to watch that very same Severin Moran showing all characteristics of a coward. All his bravery was gone the moment his boss - Brigadier Moriarty, found him stealing a gramophone from the Germans. 

"Well, speak man!" Brigadier Morairty insisted "What were you thinking, risking your life for a stupid gramophone!" 

"Forgive me, sir..." he managed. God, his brother Sebastian would love to laugh at him now!

"I asked for an explanation, not an apology." 

And here it is... our brave hero lost his nerves. 

"I beg you, sir, don't ask..." he said

Jim cocked his head, then arched an eyebrow, then chuckled and then finally exploded.

"I asked you a question, boy! You owe an answer! U O meee!" he screamed 

Now, mind you, Severin was definitely not afraid of the shouting; he was not afraid of getting caught sneaking out of camp to cross no man's land, to get to the enemy camp and steal a freaking gramophone from there! That was not what scared him here, remember that. But this was Richard's brother yelling at him now! And funny as it may sound, he wanted to be liked by Richie's only family. Especially since he knew how important Jim was to Richie. 

Moriarty slammed his hands on the table, his brown eyes piercing Moran. Sev now saw how different the twin brothers really were. There was no way he could confuse one with the other. 

"Talk!" Moriarty shouted "Talk now!"

"I-I-I..." he stuttered "I needed the music..." 

"Needed the music..." the brigadier repeated 

Severin nodded his head. 

"NEEDED THE MUSIC!?" 

Oh, damn!

"And for  _that_ you risk not only your own life, but you risk an attack on the entire camp!?" 

"That was never my intention, sir." he said quietly 

"Are you a fool, man?" Moriarty asked, suddenly getting suspiciously calm

"Sorry...?"

"Are. You. A. Fool?" he repeated, the same deadly calmness in his voice

"I'd like to think not, sir. But probably... aren't we all fools in our own way?" he shrugged 

"Great! He's a bl%dy philosopher!" Jim sighed and rolled his eyes "Do you have  _any_ idea what could have happened if the enemy had caught you there on  _their_  territory?" 

"I do..."

"And yet you risked everything, you risked us, just to get a freaking gramophone!?" 

"I was certain I wouldn't get caught, sir" Sev said, trying to sound as little arrogant as possible. 

This comment earned him a chuckle from the brigadier. 

"You were certain you wouldn't get caught?" he shook his head "Like brother like... other brother!" 

There was no sign of anger now. All vanished. Severin thought for a moment and decided to go through what he wanted to do for some time now but right then Jim waved dismissively.

"You can go, soldier." 

Sev saluted but did not leave the tent.

"Anything else?" Jim asked, almost annoyed 

"I'm in love with your brother, sir." Sev finally said it out loud 

"Why, of course you are." Jim nodded, unimpressed

"You--" Sev spoke confused "you misunderstood me, sir. I do love him... as in love love... as in..." 

"As in you go risk everything just to get him a gramophone and play some songs and dance in the moonlight and under the stars in the middle of a battle field." Jim drawled "Yes, I know that."

Now Severin was genuinely shocked.

"What? You thought it was a secret?" Jim asked, challenge in his voice

"I certainly didn't think it was that obvious" Sev replied 

"Not to the rest, it isn't. But to me..." He chuckled again "I know my brother better than he knows himself. I knew there was something going on between you even before he realized it. So yes, you can't fool me, Moran. None of the Morans can!" 

Sev did not pay attention to the last remark and just gave a happy grin. 

"Don't think this means I approve of you" Jim quickly brought him back to reality "If you hurt my brother, I will ssskin you. If you harm one hair on his head I will buuurrrn you. I will buuurn the hhhheart out of you!" 

Sev was not bothered by these threats at all. And not because he thought they were empty. 

"I'm not worried about this, sir." he smiled "I would never harm your brother. And not because of what you'd do to me, but simply because I love him more than anything in this world. All I want is to make him happy like he deserves."

"Fine. Leave now. And don't forget your toy!" Jim pointed at the music device "Have fun dancing!" he said, looking for his bottle of pills. 

"Thank you, sir!" Severin smiled and was out of the brigadier's tent in no time, holding tight the gramophone in his arms. 

Oh, yes! He had the brother's approval! And oh, yes, he was going to make a lovely romantic surprise for Richie with the music and the wine he'd stolen as well ((but no one caught him doing that, ha!)). And oh, by Jove, there'd be dancing under the stars! War be damned!

* * *

The brigadier had called for Colonel Moran so he was now trying to look presentable, as much as the war conditions allowed him. Jim was in his tent again, calm and relaxed as if he did not had a fit a week ago. In fact, the recent talk he had with Sebastian's brother made him feel kind of romantic in a way. Or at least, a bit more willing to risk and trust. 

"You needed me, sir?" Moran saluted.

"Mmmhm" a smile played on Jim's lips

"Well... here I am" Sebastian said

"Make sure we're undisturbed" Jim ordered 

Sebastian did so, although he was still unsure where this was going. 

"No one's near the tent, brigadier, and I gave explicit orders that no one should bother you unle--" he was cut off by Jim's lips pressing suddenly on his own "Wha--" he tried to speak 

"What?" Moriarty pulled away, a playful smile gracing his face now "So _you_ get to do that and _I_ don't?"

"I don't understand..." 

"Yes, you do look genuinely confused, Moran" Jim nodded, pretending to be serious "It's fine. I'll explain. This is called a kiss. Now, repeat after me: K I S S. This means--" 

"I'm not an idiot..." 

"Could've fooled me"

"I don't understand why the sudden urge to kiss me." Seb said "Do you... _love_ me now?" 

There was hope in his voice, hope in those eyes. It was adorable and silly and heartbreaking but Jim had to resist it. So he did the only thing he knew. He laughed at it.

"Love!? Love? Don't be absurd!" the laughter continuing, almost choking him "No love. Love is not real. At least not for me. I was bored. And since we did that  kiss thing a few times before, I thought, why not!" 

Sebastian seemed crashed. "So you're only passing the time?"

"No, of course not." Jim shook his head "It's not just passing the time."

"Oh!" a hint of a smile of relief 

"I'm entertaining myself also. Just like you have before." Jim continued "It's terribly boring and depressing, this war." he said "I need something to... rejuvenate me. You seem like the thing!"

Moran was speechless. 

"This is cruel" he said finally

"This is war." Jim replied, the same calm coldness in his voice

Sebastian felt his heart breaking. 

"In that case, Jim... I'm sorry... I can't." 

Jim was surprised at how decisive the colonel was about this and so soon after snogging him senseless the other day. This rejection was an unexpected reaction. The brigadier's surprise must have showed on his face because Sebastian felt the urge to explain his actions. 

"Permission to speak plainly, sir" he said and Moriarty nodded, allowing it.

"I love you, Jim." Sebby then said "I truly do. I love you and no matter what you say or do now I will still continue to love you. I love you, and unfortunately, nothing can change that." 

Jim was silent, listening to the colonel with an unreadable expression on his face. 

"Would you not say something?" Sebastian asked 

Another silence. 

"Say something, damn it!" Seb insisted but once again received no reply.

"I see..." he sighed "I'll let you think then." 

And he left the tent. 

"Sebby, I--" Jim tried to stop him but his voice failed him and no sound came out of his throat. The colonel was already gone and could not hear the Brigadier. The Brigadier, on the other hand, would not go out chasing the Colonel.  

* * *

Drinking night. Finally! Sebastian needed it. He needed it badly! He needed to drink all that disgusting pain away, to berry it so deep inside his being that it never surfaced again. Alcohol might help the pain of being rejected by the only person he truly loved... or enhance it. Either ways, he was willing to be intoxicated. 

As he ordered his drink he sat alone in the corner, away from all other soldiers. He was not here to socialize and he feared human company would only make things bad for him now. Even worse, he could involuntarily compromise Jim and he would never do that, not even after Jim's cruelty to him. 

He drank one, two, three... what comes after six?, bottles. It felt like nothing. He could still feel! He could still remember! Damn this heart, this silly muscle so fragile even when it's beating inside a strong frame like his. 

Suddenly he heard someone mention Richard and Severin so he lifted his gaze from his bottle and pierced his drunken eyes on the soldier that was talking about his brother. 

"They're so obvious, it's disgusting!" the soldier said "And yet no one dares say a word because he's the Brigadier's brother!"

The group of soldiers around him started laughing and making ill jokes. 

"What the--!?" Moran murmured 

"Apparently there's no problem with sodomy as long as it's practiced by a certain 'chosen' circle of people who have strong connections!" 

"Don't you have something better to do than spread false rumours about people who aren't here to defend themselves?" Sebastian showed up from his dark corner. 

"They aren't false and aren't rumours." the soldier said "They're truths!" 

"Oh, and you would know about that, wouldn't you!" the colonel said sarcastically. He was ready to fight and this young soldier was as good a target as any, especially if he was asking for it. 

"I do know, actually." the soldier insisted "I deduced it!" 

"Oh, and who, the bl%dy hell, are you? Bl%dy Miss Marple!?" 

"No! I am Sherlock Holmes!" he replied, a strange and unusual smugness for a mere Corporal. 

"I don't care if you're the bl%dy king of England, stop spreading vile rumours!" Seb barked, his voice still deceptively quiet for an enraged man

"Who are you protecting, I wonder." Corporal Holmes continued with a chuckle "Is it your brother or is it--" Brigadier Moran..."--someone else?"

"I'm defending my brother and his friend and I assure you all there's nothing irregular going on between them! Two comrades fighting side by side, like all of us here! I guarantee there's nothing sodomitical about their friendship. Whoever dares accuse them of anything will have to take this matter to me!" 

[Another chuckle from the Corporal](https://33.media.tumblr.com/5c80772ad04947c2622c0dd25f4798fc/tumblr_nnh9seKTae1sgrr3ko3_r1_250.gif) and he said in a low firm voice: "I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you, Colonel Moran. No one's seen you with a lady either." 

There was a certain air of 'I know everything' about this soldier and Moran was seized by fear for Jim, his brother and Richard, and anger for the man who dared exposing them. Even if it was only a rumour at a tavern, that was how people started a talk and then no one could save any of them. The people he cared about. 

Sebastian attacked Holmes, fists digging in the Corporal's smug face, his ribs, his stomach, basically every part of him that was within his reach. Corporal Holmes, on the other hand, turned out to be just as skillful a fighter as Moran was. The two were clenched in the tight grip of the fight, hurting each other, bleeding, swearing and shouting like wild animals. No one dared interfere although everybody watched the show. 

Soon everything was smeared in blood, both Moran's and Holmes'. When they were finally separated, they were both half-unconscious. Both needed medical attention. 

* * *

 

"Some war!" Richie exclaimed "We're fighting the enemy and fighting our own at the same time." 

"It's not what you think..." Sebastian whispered but the pain of the strain was too much so he had to keep quiet instead.

"You'll have to relax for a while, I'm afraid." Richie shook his head "You were badly injured, lots of bruises, lots of scars..."

Seb rolled his eyes. All that was nothing for him.  

"Yes, you are right" Richard nodded with a smile "You'll be alright pretty soon. But there are still parts of you that need special healing. As for your opponent... he's in an even worse condition you are!" 

Sebastian could not help the chuckle on his face at that last remark. That's what the smug bastard deserved! 

His eyes failed him and he fell back asleep. 

* * *

 

Sebastian opened his eyes only to find himself in his private tent, still injured, still in pain. He looked around and saw that Richard Brook, the medic, was still with him. The poor thing must have worried a lot to stay and watch over him all that time. 

Seb gathered all his strength to utter "You don't need to stay here... I'll be fine..." 

He started panting from the effort. His lungs were in the list of badly injured parts of his body. 

Richard suddenly turned towards him, fierce look in his eyes. Sebastian paled even more.

"What were you bl%dy thinking, Moran!?" Richard screamed at him "Endangering yourself like that for nothing! I spend days to think of the best strategy for our battles against the enemy with the sole purpose to keep you safe and you go and do something as stupid as this!?"

Sebastian's jaw dropped. This wasn't Richard; this was  _Jim_!

"You're trying to keep me safe?" he managed to say

"Is that all you got from my scolding!" Jim exploded 

Sebastian smiled blissfully.

"This was hardly a scolding, sir." he said "It was a confession... A declaration of love" 

"Shut up, you injured fool!" 

"Keep talking, Jim! I love hearing your voice!" he whispered, closing his eyes 

"Idiot!" 

"Yes... _your_ idiot and yours alone!" 

"What were you thinking, Sebastian?..." Jim's voice sounded softer now, like a caress. "Holmes is one of our best fighters, you could've died..." 

Sebastian thought it better to explain everything that had happened last night in the tavern. 

When Jim heard the whole story his eyes narrowed "I'll take care of it" he said and they discussed it no more. 

* * *

Brigadier Moriarty visited Colonel Moran regularly during his recovery. The two were, after all, old brothers in arms, they fought together a lot, they were best of friends and the Brigadier was always concerned with the condition of his men. So the frequent visits were no surprise to anyone, no topic of gossip. Although, even if they were, I doubt either men would stop seeing each other on account of that anyway. 

Now they were in his tent, Seb was already sitting in his bed, while Jim was sitting on the ground next to him. The topic of their conversation that day was the romance between young Lieutenant Xavier and the Nazi prisoner he was assigned to guard. 

"Didn't expect a kraut to fall for one of ours, but Xavier has that charm" Sebastian said. 

"Hey!" Jim punched his chest playfully "Dont make me jealous now"

"Oh now you care" Sebastian chuckled

Jim all but blushed. "I dont! I just... dont like you liking other men!" he mumbled 

Sebastian grinned "Aren't you cute?" 

"Stop that." 

"You are cute" Sebastian wrapped an arm around Jim's waist

"What if someone finds something about us?"

"They won't" Sebastian had no idea what made him sound so convincing but he _did_ sound really convincing so it was all good.

"As if you're not obvious enough!" Jim said, trying not to grin right back at Moran

"Sorry" Seb bit his lip

"You look at me with such a sublime mixture of love and lust" Jim's voice trembled at the strange feeling those words left in him

"I cannot help myself" Sebastian shrugged

"No?" a chuckle

Sebastian laughed "You're too cute"

"Don't talk such things or I'll shut your mouth" Jim said sternly 

"How will you shut my mouth?" Seb asked curiously 

"With mine" the brigadier grinned

"Then do it" 

"You'll never learn, Moran!" he giggled and pulled him into a kiss. Sebastian kissed Jim back passionately. 

"I'm starting to like this war!" Jim gasped in between kisses

"I'm starting to love you" Moran added 

"You do? Awww, this is tragic!" Moriarty fake-pouted

"Isn't all love tragic?"

"It shouldn't be..." he said, getting quieter all the sudden

"What's wrong?" Seb got worried that Moriarty would take it all back now and leave him

"Sebastian..., when the war is over... we'd go our own separate ways, I suppose..." Jim muttered 

"Yeah..." he replied, not coming up with a better response, not knowing what Jim was after with this. 

"Would you like that?" Jim asked

"No."

"Really?" There was something new creeping in James Moriarty's voice. It seemed a lot like ... hope.

"Really" Seb smiled 

"Good. Because I was thinking that perhaps maybe, kinda, in a way... we could still see each other after the war? I have this cute little cottage in Ireland, with a front porch and a small garden where flowers bloom in Spring... We could go live there."

This was too adorable to handle! Sebastian agreed on it at once, casually and yet, his heart was melting at the thought that Jim wanted him. 

"We could make this work... Couldn't we?" Jim asked again

"Of course!" he assured him with a grin. 

"Of course!" Jim repeated, smiling back at him. "Come here!" he hugged him lovingly "But nothing's changed yet! I'm still the boss!"

"Nothing at all has changed?" Seb raised an eyebrow, glancing at Jim's hand resting casually on his thigh. 

"Not one thing!" Jim kissed him gently "It's all as it used to be before... " he kept insisting although his actions spoke otherwise

"Only a little more gay" Sebastian winked

"I've always been that gay for you, tiger" Jim winked in return

"Tiger?" 

"Sorry, it's just something I've been calling you in my head ever since you got those scars 3 years ago..."

"I like it" Seb went to kiss him again when gunshots pierced the air

* * *

 

Now it is necessary to go back in the story a bit so that we understand what was so particular about these specific gunshots.

After their last kiss, [Lieutenant Xavier](https://33.media.tumblr.com/10b5006e0fc0eaaca717bf2491f396d0/tumblr_nnhaycWXu01sgrr3ko2_500.gif) and his prisoner shared a considerable amount of more kisses. It could be said, they had the war of their lives! However there was one issue that was bothering the young idealistic heart of Lieutenant Xavier and that was the fact that Erik... - umm, Lehnshrer! Lehnsherr! - was the enemy. One day Erik decided to ease his lover's mind and finally share his story with him. 

"I'm Jewish, Charles." he explained 

"You're a Jewish Nazi..." 

"I'm no Nazi!" Erik articulated "I was sent away when Hitler came to power. My parents were captured by the Nazis, they died in a concentration camp, Charles. Slaughtered like pigs! Tortured, anguished, miserable..." 

Charles hugged him tightly to comfort him as much as he could. 

"I was devastated. I was broken. I still am..." he continued "And I made up my mind. I made up my mind that I'll avenge my parents' death! I'll punish the Nazi bastards who did this to them! Those who captured them, those who locked them up, those who tortured them, those who let them starve, those who put a bullet in their heads when they were too weak to be used any longer, those who threw their bodies in a pile with so many others... and finally, those who came up with this whole wretched system! I figured, what better way to do so than by getting inside it. From the inside I managed to sabotage, give information, ruin some of the most promising Nazi plans! I managed to get revenge too..." 

Charles tried to keep his eyes dry. Poor Erik!  _His_ poor Erik! To think that Charles considered him an enemy for so long when in reality...

"I found them, Charles." Erik's face was not without a trace of satisfaction "I found each of those 'soldiers', those worms that were 'only following orders'. I found them and I destroyed them! I found the man who killed my mother - Sebastian Shaw, his name was." a flicker of sadistic pleasure in his blue-grey eyes. "The things I did to him..."

Charles put his hand on Erik's hand "I understand, Erik." he said "You don't need to say another word." 

Erik closed his eyes and let their heads rest against each other. 

"I thought this was my only purpose, Charles" he whispered "I thought I'd never feel anything ever again. And then you came along. You with your endless optimism, your hope, your kind heart, your open mind, your free spirit, your eyes looking at me the way they do... You brought life back to me, Charles." 

Charles looked up at him "I understand... This is why you hate that you have to leave me now..." 

Erik swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears away. "You got that then..." he sighed 

Charles nodded. "Yes... You have to go and finish what you've been doing for so long. You have to go finish the job, bring down the Nazis." 

Erik looked away. "I wish I could stay here, Charles, but this cause is important!" 

"Oh, Erik, believe me, I understand better than you think!" Charles tried to smile, although his vision was already blurred by his watering eyes. "Your cause is my cause as well! What you fight for... I can only admire you more for it! I respect you for that, Erik! You cannot stop this because of me! You must not! I won't allow it!" 

Erik kissed his hand gently, holding it tightly to his lips and then his cheek. 

"I will come back for you, you know." he said "When this war is over I will return and then, God is my witness, no one will ever take you away from me!" 

"I know, my love." another smile through tears "I'll be here, waiting for my hero!" 

"What a hero! If anything, a villain! Leaving you here, endangered..."

"None of this matters now. The important thing is that I love you and you love me! And I will wait for you! War or no war!" 

Another kiss. "Thank you, lilac!"

"You're very welcome, my shark" 

Erik forced a grin to live up to the pet name. 

"So... tomorrow...?" Charles asked

"... tomorrow..." Erik replied.

* * *

And this brings us to the night when Moriarty and Moran heard the gunshots...

"It's the Nazi prisoner! He's getting awaaaaaay!" a soldier screamed

Erik was trying to stay out of the reach of the guns. Needless to say, the plan did not go according to... plan... 

[Charles ](https://33.media.tumblr.com/ffde81e1f0e1accf45adaa7721bd3d22/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko10_r1_250.gif)was trying to help Lehnsherr. He saw the man next to him aiming at Erik. Erik, facing the other way, didn't notice. [Charles ](https://33.media.tumblr.com/a43acf36acef95fc6b72bc237a6bfcc0/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko9_r1_250.gif)knew what he had to do, if not for his own selfish love, then for his country. He grabbed the other man's hand, holding the gun and aimed it at himself, feeling the bullet go through him as the other man pulled the trigger. 

The noise made Erik turn around and he saw Charles getting wounded to save him.

"Charles!" he screamed and rushed to his love, not noticing the danger to his own life anymore.

The man who'd accidentally shot Charles ignored Erik and went running for the medic.  
Charles smiled and touched Erik's cheek gently.

"You need to go. Tell them what they need to know, my shark"

"No! I'll never leave you! I'll get you out of here!" Erik said, trying to get Charles on his back to carry him

The other soldiers stilled at the sight of the Nazi enemy helping the British Lieutenant with such care. 

"The medic will be here soon. I'll be fine. I'm not in enemy territory like you" Charles chuckled weakly

"But Charles!-- you must promise me to be here when I'm back!" Erik insisted

"I may be in the medical tent... Just go!"

"I-- so much--" he said, holding Charles' hand tightly in his own, unable to control his emotions

"I love you too, you fool. Now go!" Charles forced a smile

"Ich liebe dich, liebling!" he whispered

"...Kiss me" Charles mumbled

Erik leaned in and kissed him gently, not giving a damn if anyone saw.  Charles kissed back weakly.

"You'll be okay..." Erik said "We still have time. We have to meet after the war, remember?"

Charles nodded, eyes closing.  Erik shook him a little to make sure he was still conscious

"Lilac, please don't close your eyes" he asked worriedly  

"But I'm so tired..." Charles whined

"Please, keep your eyes open!"

"Do I have to..."

"You don't have to but-- I'd rather see them open" he said, looking around "Where is the bl%dy medic!?"

Charles nodded, forcing his eyes open.

"I'm so tired..." he snuggled against Erik, getting blood on Erik's uniform

Erik couldn't care less about his uniform. He snuggled Charles even closer to feel his presence.

"I know... but please, don't fall asleep for me!"

"I can't..." 

"Please don't leave me... You're all I hold dear..." Erik cried quietly 

Charles quietly breathed his last, still cuddled up in Erik's arms, clinging to his shirt.  It took a while before Erik realized Charles was already dead. He kept talking to him and stroking his hair until Richard came and realized what had happened. 

"No, he's still alive!" Erik insisted "Help him! Save him!" 

Richard looked at Charles and then a miracle happened, Charles opened his eyes once again.

Erik felt tears of joy falling down his cheeks, happy at the thought that there was still hope. "He'll be alight!" he screamed "He'll live!" 

Richie ignored him and called for help "Bring him to the medical tent! At once!" 

Charles looked at Erik and mouthed "Go..." 

* * *

 

Erik reluctantly let Charles' hand go and ran only to be captured and brought to the brigadier's tent. 

"Lieutenant Xavier is not at fault!" was the first thing Lehnsherr said

"Indeed?" Jim said "You can't even escape properly! This war really is damned!" 

Erik's mind was still with Charles so it took him some time to concentrate on what the brigadier was telling him.

"You knew what I was--?" he muttered 

"Well, of course I knew! Why else would I keep you alive this long, waiting for you to STOP FLIRTING AND GET ON WITH YOUR WORK!?"

"I-- don't shout at me!" 

"You have my permission to leave the camp! Go! Do whatever it is you bl%dy do! I bet you have information to pass, provisions to blow up! Whatever it is, just stop this dreadful business now! This war is-- not to my liking..." 

Erik nodded and was about to express his gratitude when a soldier burst inside the tent, bringing news. 

"We're one man down, sir!" the soldier said

Erik paled.

"You mean...?" Jim asked nervously 

"Lieutenant Charles Xavier, sir!" the soldier reported "Died, sir. Gunshot wound"  

The soldier observed as the Nazi prisoner collapsed on the floor. 

"Is the prisoner wounded as well, sir?" the soldier asked confused

Jim looked down on Erik's unconscious body and nodded "He is, soldier. He's very wounded."

Just as the soldier was about to ask for more orders Jim cut him off "Dismissed!"

* * *

Jim felt depressed, his heart was heavy. He needed Seb so he called for him on the pretext that they needed to discuss battle plans.

Sebastian was there in record time. "Yes, sir?"

"I need a hug, a kiss, you!" 

"Okay!" Sebastian grinned

Jim snuggled in the colonel's arms. "Xavier's dead... my brother's upset... Lehnsherr lost his love..."

"War is hell" Moran replied

"It shouldn't bother me that much. I don't usually care"

"It bothers us all" 

Jim took a bottle of pills "I guess I'll be needing those after all." he said 

"What are they for?" 

"Stress" 

"Drugs?" Seb raised an eyebrow 

Jim rolled his eyes. "Must you always use big words for everything."

"That's not a big word..."

"It's invested with a big meaning."

"Oh..."

"It's fine. I only take them when I'm stressed... or bored"

"Jim"

"It's no big deal" 

"It is a big deal!" Sebastian insisted 

"Stop it. It's really not. I know what I'm doing"

"You sure?"

The brigadier nodded "Of course"

Jim took a handful of the pills and returned to Sebby. They cuddled for a while in silence. 

"You're sure it's safe?" Seb finally asked what was troubling his mind 

Moriarty laughed, already in a much better mood, the pills starting to kick in, no doubt. "And how! It's the safest!" he assured with a grin and hazed eyes 

"Ok..." Seb still wasn't sure about it

"What's the matter? You want to try it too?" Jim offered a pill

"No!" Seb shook his head

"Come on! You're a soldier, a big man" he said, trying to get his man to take the pill

"No." Seb said firmly, putting Jim's hand away.

"Fine." Jim shrugged and popped the pill in his own mouth instead of putting it back in the bottle.

"Sorry"

"Whatever"

"Kiss?"

"Humph!"

"Sorry" Sebastian repeated 

"Fine, give me the kiss"

He did. 

"I hate this war!" Jim muttered 

"I do too, Jim"

"The only moment it's better is when I'm with you... or the pills"

"You don't need the pills"

"Yes, yes I do... It's unbearable without them"

"Jim..."

"Eh, what do you know!?"

"That you need help"

"The pills help"

"No"

"They do! They make me feel better!"

"You're addicted to them!"

"Of course I'm not!" Jim let out a sigh "I can stop any time I want to!"

"Oh yeah?" Seb was still unconvinced 

"My brain is superior. It's not an easy target for addiction."

"You sure?"

"Of course!" Moriarty said in high pitched voice

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing..."

"You're lying"

"Never..." after a little thought "Not to you at least"

"I don't like this, Jim" 

"Hey, Sebby, I promise, it's just the pills." Jim said, looking him in the eye "One or two from time to time to keep me sharp. That's all. I won't go on with it."

"Promise you won't sink deeper into this?" 

"I promise." Jim smiled

They kissed again. Yes, the war was good to Jim Moriarty when there was Seb... or the pills...

* * *

Before leaving for his mission Erik went to say his goodbyes to Charles, or more precisely, to Charles' dead body. It was still in the medical tent, spread on the table, covered in blood. 

"Because of me..." Erik muttered upon seeing this scene " _Because of me..._ " His head was spinning. "It's all because of me..."

Richard, the medic, pushed the entrance of the tent and got out frustrated, mad and broken. Severin stroked his cheek gently.

"It's not your fault you're under supplied" he said

[Richard ](https://41.media.tumblr.com/0bc4fa0be45c66263820779a5ec773ad/tumblr_nnhaycWXu01sgrr3ko5_250.jpg)pushed him away "Don't find excuses for me! It was my responsibility to save him and I didn't! I couldn't! I'm the one who killed this boy!"

"Bunny, quiet, someone will hear... Soldiers need hope, y'know..." 

"Hope!? They don't need hope" he barked bitterly "What do they need hope for? To believe in a lie and be disappointed after that?"

"Richie! This isn't you!" Sev said. "Of course they needs hope! We all need hope!"

"Nonsense! We need the truth." he shook his head "I'll go tell them they only have a few days left until we're all dead!" 

"Richie..." 

"Do you know what was the last thing Charles told me before he died?" 

Severin shook his head. 

"He told me 'Thank you for trying your hardest!' He thanked me, Sev, and I let him die!" 

"You did all you could..." 

"I can't take this war anymore... I can't-- I can't see this sort of thing any longer--" 

Sebastian approached them. 

"Hello, boys." he said concerned "I heard about-- Is Lehnsherr alright?" 

"Lehnsherr?" Richard asked surprised

"He's inside." Sev replied "He's in a strange condition, doesn't really make much sense." 

"Give us a minute" Sebastian said and went inside also

Erik was staring at Charles' dead body, immovable as he was. Charles was not breathing, neither was Erik; Charles was not moving, neither was Erik. He looked like a dead man standing with his eyes fixed on another dead man. Sebastian could not help but empathize. If this was Jim--

"Lehnsherr." Sebastian laid a gentle hand on Erik's shoulder

Erik turned his head slowly, brought back to reality.

"What's this for?" he asked surprised, glancing at Sebastian's hand 

"You're sad." Sebastian noted

"What else do you expect me to be?" Erik replied

"I don't know..." the colonel said "But I understand... I understand so well..."  

There was a wordless conversation between the two men.

"And I'm so sorry" Moran added

"You're sorry?" Erik laughed, bordering madness, then his voice was suddenly calm again "Don't be sorry. What are you waiting for? I'm the enemy. _Kill me!_ "

"No."

"Kill me! ... _Please_..."

"I can't! There's already been too much death..." Seb shook his head

"My only love is... forever and... and I'll never... " he could not finish

"Never what…?" Sebastian asked 

"I'll never love again" Erik whispered 

"Sure you will..."

"No. Nor do I want to" he said and cracked "All I want is to join him--" 

Sebastian watched as the grown man, the brave soldier, cried his bitter tears over his lover's dead body. 

"I'm the enemy." he cried again "Kill me! My death will be welcomed" 

"You obviously aren't the enemy"

Erik sobbed, looking down at Charles' body again. 

"Look at him, colonel..." he said quietly "What do I have to live for?"

"Whatever he died for is important, Erik. Keep doing it" Sev replied

"What's the point without him?" Erik asked bitterly

"You have to or this will be in vain!" He gestured to Charles' body on 'this'

Erik shook his head "No! Charles did not die in vain!"

"Then do your job, Lehnsherr!"

He sighed "Give me a moment to-- say goodbye..."

"Take your time and his dog tags..." 

Erik held them as one would hold their most treasured possession. Sebastian went out of the tent, giving Lehnsherr the time to say goodbye properly but also making sure he was close enough to stop him had the man decided to do something wild in his desperation.

In five minutes time Erik Lehnsherr got out, his face was determined and he seemed hard as a rock. No one could've guessed that his heart was breaking and he spent the last hour crying like a baby.

Sebastian was a little startled at this change and grabbed Erik's shoulder. "You're strong"

Erik nodded, appreciating the compliment. "We have a war to win."

"But you're the enemy..." he repeated Erik's words from a while ago

"Don't let appearances fool you" Erik replied "I'm on your side as much as he was" pointing back to the place Charles' corpse still was

"Hey, you'll survive. He'd want that"

"I don't want to survive" he said calmly "I want to succeed. And die after that"

"Your mama would be sad..."

"She's dead"

"Oh... Your papa?"

He shook his head "Charles was the only family worth mentioning."

"You poor soul..." 

"The world isn't interested who's happy and who's sad" 

"The world's never been interested in that, trust me. If it were, Sev and I would still have a home to go back to after all this."

"And I would still have Charles to go back to after all this..."

"Hey, you can come to us, we'll be the family to welcome you after the war." he tapped his shoulder

Erik forced a smile "Now I have work to do."

"Goodbye, Lehnsherr. Thanks for making our kid happy"

He nodded and walked away.

"Wait! I haven't had a chance to shake your hand!" When Seb shook Erik's hand, he pressed a lilac into the German's palm and quickly walked away.

Erik was so surprised he couldn't say a word. He pressed the lilac to his lips and kissed it as he felt its scent.

* * *

It's been a month after the last events and life was pretty much back to normal: bombing, shooting, death, danger, the usual... 

Sebastian went to the brigadier's tent to report the latest news but in fact he had an ulterior motive. There was something he needed to speak to Jim about. 

"Sebby, sorry, I have work..." Jim said when the colonel appeared in the tent

He was sitting in his chair, going through some plans.

"Is that so? Is it work?" Sebastian asked frustrated 

"Yes...?" 

"I'll ask one more time, Jim." Seb said firmly "Is it work... or is it drugs?" 

Jim's face paled. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

"Well?" Seb raised his voice

"Sebastian, this is really not important right now..." 

"I found a needle, Jim, a bl%dy needle!" 

"Is it really necessary for you to shout?" Jim almost whispered 

"It's true then? You survive this war by drugging yourself 24/7!" he was devastated "You promised, Jim! You promised you won't sink into this! And now you're moving to hard-core drugs!? Pills aren't enough for you!?" 

"Colonel, you're forgetting your position!" Jim warned

"The hell with my position!" he waved his hands dismissively, dropping on his knees in front of Jim. "Jim, this is dangerous, like really dangerous. I don't want you to suffer from the consequences." 

"I appreciate it, Sebby, but it's only a bit of cocaine every once in a while and helps me get on with this sh!t" 

"Darn it! Where do you even find f*cking cocaine here!?" Sebastian exclaimed 

"Look, I understand you worry - it's really sweet that you do, by the way - but this is nothing serious." Jim reassured him but Sebastian seemed upset still so he had to take more drastic measures. "Fine. If I promise I start taking less, would that ease your mind about this?"

Sebastian considered the idea and finally nodded. "Yes, that'd be better..." 

Jim nodded and wrapped his arms around the colonel's neck "Very well then, I promise to take much less than what I take now. Happy?"

"Happy-ish" Seb replied, still pouting

Jim kissed him softly to ease his mind completely and soon the incident was almost forgotten. 

* * *

Sebastian received a letter. It was really strange because the letter was from none other but Erik Lehnsherr. He was pleased; after all, he liked Erik and considered him a friend of sorts. 

But when he actually read the few lines, his face paled and he felt a lump in his throat. 

_"Dear Colonel Moran, sir,_

_Keep your boss - Brigadier Moriarty - safe. Someone is preparing an attack on his life. I know this is a strange way of staying in touch with old friends but if I have a chance to spare someone of my fate, I'd gladly do it and I do believe you know what I am referring to..._

_In short, WATCH HIM LIKE A HAWK BECAUSE THE NAZIS ARE PROBABLY GOING TO TRY TO BLOW HIM UP!_

_Good luck to you, sir!_

_Salute!_

_EL"_

Sebastian ran outside at once, the letter still in his hand. 

"Sev! Sev!" he called since his brother was the first one he saw around "Where's the brigadier?"

"He went to the medical tent to see Richard. It's his monthly check up." Severin replied, unaware of the news of the letter "You just missed him. He only passed by me a few seconds ago."

Seb paled even more. He had a terrible feeling in his stomach and ran towards the medical tent, screaming "Jiiiiim!" 

Jim heard him and stopped his pace, turned to see where the voice was coming from and just as he was about to wave to Sebastian, a loud blast came from the medical tent a few steps away.

The force of the explosion hit like a wave, sending Sebastian a couple of feet away. A bunch of soldiers rushed to throw buckets of water to stop the fire and to check if there are any victims after this incident. Everything was ringing in the colonel's ears, his eyes could hardly recognize a shape. He was desperate, trying to find out where Jim was but unable to see him. Was Jim even alive!? He was, after all, much closer to the explosion than Sebastian... 

 

* * *

 

Severin was not affected by the explosion. He only heard it and rushed with the rest of the soldiers to help. It took him a few minutes to realize that the huge blast came from the medical tent. It took him a couple of more minutes to realize that Richard was in it at the time of the blast. It took him the rest of his life to realize that Richard had instantly died...

No, it was impossible to wrap his mind around it. Richard is dead! Richard is dead!? In his mind Severin always imagined he'd be the one to die first. Richard was the medic, Severin was the soldier. Richard spent his time healing wounded soldiers, Severin spent his days and nights on the battle field, in the trenches, fighting and risking his life. Somehow he was always in peace with the possibility of dying here. But he could never ever be in peace with the thought that Richard should die before him! That Richard was no longer here... No, the mere idea is still too complicated to grasp. It was impossible to imagine a world without Richard Brook, it was impossible to imagine  _his_ world without Richard Brook. 

[Severin ](https://33.media.tumblr.com/221d884b298379be7ef274339a2a066b/tumblr_nnhb35YfiY1sgrr3ko5_250.gif)was standing among the pile of what remained of the medical tent. Fire - sustained for even longer by the medications in the tent, shouting soldiers, buckets of water, screams, everything was in slow motion around him. All he could see is terribly disfigured remains of what used to be his Richa-- his Richard... He was unable to speak, unable to cry, unable to move, unable to think. Nor did he need to do any of those things!

He grabbed Richard's dog tags that layed on the ground before him - almost unaffected by the explosion - held them tightly in his hand while taking out his gun with the other. With deadly determination and not a twitch in his eye Sev pointed the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. 

There was no gunshot, there was no noise. All of it was lost in the general commotion in the camp. In the fuss no one noticed how Severin Moran's dead body dropped on the ground where Richard's remains were scattered. No one heard the gunshot, no one heard the thump when he fell dead. As simple as this action was, it was only logical - Richard Brook was dead, therefore, Severin Moran had no reason to live. So he didn't. He stopped. Forever. 

* * *

 

Two weeks since Richard's death. Two weeks since Severin's suicide over his lovers remains. Two terrible weeks for Sebastian Moran. The worst in his life, as a matter of fact, and that meant a lot considering that his life was never an easy one. 

The tragic story of his brother's death was a disaster. The only little light left in his life now was the fact that the explosion that took Richard's life and caused Severin's suicide spared Jim who was affected by it differently. 

Jim was alive, yes. He was breathing, he was blinking, he was... surviving. But he was not quite himself. And so Sebastian was not surprised when he started finding used syringes, empty bottles and what not. He was not surprised when Jim's gaze was getting hazier and emptier with each day. 

His eyes fell down on the bottom part of Jim's body. One leg missing, gone in the blast. 

"At least you're alive!" Seb smiled through tears "You could've been dead, Jim!" 

"Alive..." Jim smirked bitterly

And then the news came. Richard had died and Severin had shot himself. It was not hard to put two and two together. Clear as a Summer's day, it was. The explosion was meant to kill the brigadier who had an appointment in the medical tent at that time. Instead it killed Richard who was waiting there for Jim. And when Severin saw the love of his life dead, he took his life. 

"They both died because of me, Seb." Jim said, his eyes dark "It's my fault! The two people that deserved to survive this nightmare of a war and have their happy ending died because of me." 

" _Jim_..." 

"I deserve so much more than just losing my FREAKING LEG!" he punched his appendages. The pain of the new wound was still quite fresh and it hurt constantly but Sebastian was more worried about a different wound; the one in Jim's heart. 

"Jim? _Please_... Don't give in to this!" Seb pleads again and again each day only to receive another smirk "You'll be sent home soon. I want you to get better and I want you to wait for me!" 

Now he got the man's attention. 

"You want me to wait for you?" Jim asked "You're planning on joining me after the war?"

Sebastian nodded enthusiastically "Of course, Jim! Nothing's changed! I still love you!"

"Look at me..." 

"I am! And what I see is the man of my dreams!" he held Jim's hand tightly in his own, pressing a kiss to it every now and then. "There's still life for us! So please, promise me, no more drugs?" 

Jim looked at him, red, tired eyes, his pale skin paler than usual, looking sickly now, cuts and wounds all over him and of course only one leg now... 

Seb was still looking up at him, full of hope because what else was he supposed to do? What else but hope could keep him from following his brother's example and blowing his brains off? 

"No more drugs?" he asked again

"No more drugs" Jim smiled 

In a couple of days Jim was sent back home because of his permanent injury. Sebastian was the only one of our six characters left to fight the battle here, in this forgotten place. He instinctively thought of Erik Lehnsherr and the way he was fighting the war in his own way, despite his own private pain and loss. At least Seb had someone to go back to when the war is over. What was going to happen to Erik though? Only time would show. 

* * *

8 May 1945 - the invasion of Germany by the Western Allies and the Soviet Union resulting in the German unconditional surrender. The war ended but its consequences would haunt the world for decades. New truths about the actual events were beginning to come out. The stories from the concentration camps of which Erik told Charles were now known by the world. The many wounded soldiers returned home, some of them only to find that there was no home to return to. Europe was flooded with devastation, destruction and depression. But at least the hard days were over! It was a new beginning, a new day! A hard lesson for humanity to learn but at least now it's over. The war is over!

And Sebastian Moran returned home! 

Jim was waiting, as he promised. He was now living in the cottage he mentioned to Moran. It was situated in a small town in Ireland. Mrs. Halifax, former landlady and now a friend, took care of him and most of his needs. 

"Jim!" Sebastian grinned and cried and laughed and smiled and whined as he saw his Jim in his wheelchair. He threw himself in Jim's embrace. No actual movement in return. No words, not even a sigh. "Jim?" 

"He doesn't talk much, love" Mrs. Halifax shook her head 

"But he can hear me, right?" Seb asked, shaking Jim a bit. "You can hear me, Jim! It's your Sebastian! I came back to you!" 

No reply. Jim was staring at a spot somewhere above everything and everyone else. Empty eyes, empty mind, empty heart. 

"Jim?..." Sebastian was scared now 

He got up and moved a few steps from Jim to talk to Mrs. Halifax.

"Tell me everything, please." he said "What's wrong with him?"

"He's just a wreck, love. That happens when one's been injured and when one's been to war..." 

"He wasn't  _that_ bad when I sent him here!" Seb insisted 

"And how many months ago would that be?" she put her hands on her hips

Sebastian closed his eyes. 

"He needed me here..." he sighed "He needed me for his recovery and I wasn't--" 

"It happens, lad. You can't help it. The war's been tough on all of us." she said, tapping his shoulder "I lost a husband and two sons in it..." 

Sebastian made a long pause, took a deep breath, looked at Jim again. Jim who once gazed at him with love, devotion and joy, now was unable to recognize him. What was the French saying for this? C'est la guerre? Yeah, that was the freaking war! Congratulations, mankind, you got it! 

The flowers were blooming, the sky was clear in this fine Summer day, only a gentle breeze brought freshness all around the small cottage that Jim was inhabiting now. Sebastian smiled.

"Thank you, Mrs. Halifax," he said, "for everything you did for him." 

They shook hands. She went home. Seb pushed Jim's wheelchair inside the cottage and they closed the door.

* * *

" _Colonel Moran,_

 _It was truly a pleasure to receive those lines from you._ _And how is brigadier Moriarty? You do not talk about him in your letter as much as I expected._ _  
_

_You guessed right, I am displeased with all the war hero attention I get lately. None of it is real, no one really means any actual kindness. It's all a pretense. And some of the people still consider me a Nazi despite all I did and all I gave away in this war. I truly needed to shake a friendly hand! Your friendly hand!_

_I would love to visit you and brigadier Moriarty in your charming Irish retreat. I will be there as soon as I can - which is in two weeks. I promise I would not intrude your life for too long, all I need is a few moments of joy before I depart._

_Yours sincerely and impatient to shake your hand,_

_Erik Lehnsherr_

* * *

Two weeks later, as promised, Erik Lehnsherr was at their front door. He seemed a bit more aged than what Sebastian remembered him. Smiles were exchanged, they shook hands and hugged like old friends, although it's been only a year since the last time they met.

"Beautiful place you've got here." Erik said as Sebastian showed him in

"It's like a little fairy-tale, isn't it?" Sebastian smiled "Here, this is the living room... You'll see Jim in there... Well, brigadier Moriarty, as you knew him."

When Erik walked into the room he was surprised to see Jim in this condition. 

"Brigadier Moriarty! An honour..." he said, trying to act normal. 

Jim's eyes looked at Lehnsherr blankly. Not a sign of acknowledgement. 

"Is he... ummm... alright?" Erik whispered

"He has good days." Sebastian forced another smile "Well! Shall we sit around the coffee table then? Let's rest a bit, right, Jim?" no reply "Yes, exactly so, Jim. We need the rest. Sit, Erik, sit. I may call you Erik, right?"

Erik nodded as he sat down. 

"Tea?" Seb offered  

"Tea? Really?" Erik arched an eyebrow "You drink tea now?"

"If you're referring to alcohol, Lehnsherr, you must know that Jim and I stay away from that stuff." Sebastian smiled as he poured the tea in the teacups like a good little wife 

"Oh. Good." Erik nodded. 

Jim was sitting in his wheelchair, his hands resting immovably on his lap, face lost of all expression as if he was miles away.

"Good..." Erik repeated thoughtfully

"In fact," Seb continued, offering biscuits, "We stay away from all kinds of things that could turn out addictive."

The two 'sane' men in the room exchanged a meaningful look. It was clear; Sebastian was afraid Jim would sink back into his old habits, the old addiction. Although, frankly, Erik was not sure how could Jim ever do that since now Jim considerably resembled the furniture in his own house. 

"It really is a lovely place... a home" he said, trying to sound casual

"It is... yes..." Seb let out another nervous little laugh; that was new for him, Erik thought. 

"When Jim had the, umm, incident, he was sent back to Ireland to..." it was difficult saying the word when Seb knew it did not turn out the way it was supposed to, "to... recover. So he got this place. We had been talking about it before... It was where he waited for me and... here we are now. Happy as can be... Like two fish in a pond... An old married couple..."

Erik let out a melancholic smile. 

"We must not complain" Sebastian added, sensing Erik's thoughts "We have a good life. Could've been worse... We take a nice long walk in the park every morning!" he continued talking excitedly, maybe a bit more excitedly than it was normal. "Jim loves the fresh air, don't you Jim?... Don't you, Jim?" another blank stare from Jim. "Yes, you do, Jim. I know you, I know you do" another nervous little laugh from Seb. "And we love the Alley of the Lilacs"

"Alley of the Lilacs?" Erik repeated, interest piqued

"Oh, right! _Your_ flower! Yes, there's a charming little alley in the park and Jim and I call it the Alley of lilacs because it's surrounded by lilac bushes... It's beautiful and smells gorgeously, so gentle and sweet... You may like it, we should show it to you, right, Jim?" 

Then it was Erik's turn to tell his story. So he did, as a good guest. He told them about some of his missions, about the way he helped bring down the Nazis.

"Charles would've been proud!" Sebastian noted 

Then Erik told them about his honours as a war hero, about countless encounters with strangers who only wanted to get publicity with the 'war hero' by pretending to be his friends. 

"Bastards!" Seb proclaimed, his hand trembling a bit as he held his teacup.

At the end of the visit Seb insisted Erik stayed for at least a week. Poor man, Erik thought, he probably needed the company of someone who'd understand him. So he extended his visit for a few more days until he could not accept this generosity so they had to say goodbye.

"Say goodbye, Jim!" Seb smiled at Jim, eyes full of hope as he looked at his ill lover. "Well," Seb sighed getting up and turning to Erik, "he means goodbye... and thank you, Erik"

Erik said his goodbyes to Jim and went outside. Sebastian followed him so they were now in the small garden in front of their cottage. 

"This was nice." Erik said "I needed this."

"We are, as you see, very happy to--" Sebastian's voice cracked "to--"

"I can see your hands, Colonel." Erik said "You drink. You drink  _a lot_ when he's not around, when he's asleep or pretending to be asleep." 

"He's getting better, Erik, I swear he is!" Sebastian whispered, his eyes getting a bit watery "Most days he just looks through me days on end as if I'm not even there... but some times, oh, some times there's something in those brown eyes... and I can see him, Erik, I can see  _my Jim_ , not this-- but  _my_ Jim... I live for this days..." 

"I cannot pretend I know what you're going through. I only know it's tough." 

"At least he's alive." Sebastian forced a smile

"This war, it drained us all, didn't it?" 

"You did good" 

"We all tried our best"

"Yeah..." Seb sighed "And we all got post traumatic stress disorder in return!"

"Not worth it, wasn't it?" Erik chuckled as he got something out of his pocket 

"Is that--?" Seb wondered "It is! It's the lilac I gave you! You still have it!"

"Yes, I-- I saved it..." Erik smiled, gently caressing the preserved flower in his hand  

"Good for you." Seb smiled as well

"Yes, I have a memory I can actually touch" 

"Don't ever lose that"

He nodded with a smile. "I won't."

"Erik, you're a good man" Sebastian patted him on the shoulder 

"You don't have to keep telling me that"

"Sorry..."

"I'm neither a good man, nor a bad one... I'm just a very confused and sad man"

"Sorry"

"It's not your fault"

"I know..." he sighed

"Let's try talk about something else... Let's at least try to live a normal life"

"Deal"

"Now... what  _is_  a normal life exactly?" he asked, looking around

"I don't know anymore" Seb grinned "I'm trying to fake it here, as you can see." 

"The war ruined us, took away our happiness from us but I sometimes imagine that we managed to save many from a worse fate so it was worth it, in a way"

"You're right"

"Anyway, I have to... say goodbye" he extended his hand to Moran.

"Thank you, Erik, and goodbye" Sebastian took his hand

Erik smiled as they shook hands. What Sebastian could not know was that this was the last goodbye.

"May our paths cross again sometime" Sebastian gave Erik a crooked grin and turned to leave

Erik gave no reply, just another awkward smile. Then he waved goodbye and went to the park nearby. He was looking for the Alley of Lilacs, the beautiful garden with the flower that reminded him of his Charles...

* * *

"Oh! I love lilacs!" Charles appeared beside Erik

Erik smiled warmly at him. He looked just as he remembered him - [soulful blue eyes, cherry lips](https://38.media.tumblr.com/96216ac65f92da3220c1f996898d3f36/tumblr_nn9x9aMBlt1sgrr3ko2_250.gif), smiling back. "Your flowers" Erik told him.

"I am your lilac" Charles grinned, grabbing Erik's hand 

Erik kissed the hand gently. "I'm coming to you soon!" he said 

"It's taken you long enough, my shark" Charles giggled softly

"I'm sorry... I wanted to come sooner"

"I understand. You had a war to finish." Charles put his head on Erik's shoulder

From afar it seemed like there was a lonely man on the bench among the lilac bushes, talking and smiling at the empty seat next to him. But from where Erik was standing, there was Charles, smiling, caressing, talking and teasing as he used to a year ago. 

"Are you proud of me, lilac?" Erik asked "Are you pleased?"

"Extremely"

"Good. I wanted you to be." 

Charles got up from the bench, standing in front of Erik, the same soft smile gracing his face.

"Welcome me, my love!" Erik whispered, taking out his gun.

Charles took a step back and smiled. "I always will, my love!" he replied

Erik smiled again, a single tear falling down his cheek. It was a tear of happiness, a tear of hope. Hope to see his Charles again and spend the rest of eternity with him!

He pulled the trigger and the sound pierced the calm silence of the lonely Alley of the Lilacs. Erik was on the bench, sliding down a bit, his wound bleeding terribly, but on his face - a blissful smile as his life force was leaving him. 

As soon as the life left Erik, Charles was gone. The sun was shining over the lilacs, the soft wind was spreading the aroma of the flower all around... Two souls were reunited and finally happy in peace...

*** The End ***

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Band of Brothers inspired roleplay with Psychopathic_Tendencies, transformed into a story.  
> 


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